Played for a fool

I feel I have jus lost the one true love of my life.

I thought I could talk to him. I thought he would tell me the truth. I thought he would tell me where I was going wrong. Instead, he lied to me, told me what I "wanted" to hear, lead me into a false sense of security. Made me believe I was right when I wasn't. I didn't want to hear lies, I wanted to hear the truth! I wanted to be told I was jus being silly! I wanted to be told I had nothing to be worried about! All I did was care and love him, he even told me to dump him! I argued saying I didn't want to, I couldn't bare losing him! And I still can't. But now it looks like I have.

I don't want to lose him. I'd jump if he gave up on me. I'd feel so lost and without a purpose, i'd have no more to live for. I can see it already, sitting at the walls, looking down and recollecting every happy memory I have, just to jump with a smile.

I'm hanging on a thread for him. I don't want to be dropped from him. My gut is wrenched up from being so nervous and worried about his response, my heart is banging into walls, expecting the worst, my head is running it all through tryin to find a way out, but it can't. I am so angry with myself for being so stupid.

I love you Jonny, always will. Just hope we can bring it back.