So you think you can come back into my life, guns blazing and mouthing off at me.
I don't think so.
It's been 2 years at least since I last spoke to you. 3 years since it happened.
I don't need you and never have done!
SO FUCK OFF!!
I don't want your crap of how you think you know better than me!! You wanna try and tell me what to do?? Why the fuck should I listen to you when I've got the better job than you, I've got more friends than you, a better life than you and I'm in a higher position than you will ever be in!!
You've got some fucking nerve to tell me that I don't know what life is.
I KNEW EXACTLY WHAT LIFE WAS THE DAY YOU FUCKING KILLED HER!!!
And as for that little WHORE you had, I hope she's grown up or is DEAD!!!
I swear to God you DARE fucking come NEAR me, I'm gonna grab your bollocks and shove em so far up your arse they'll be in your throat!!!
I know your plan, you need me to still want you, but I don't, I'm not gonna be wrapped around your finger. Not again. Not anymore. Once was bad enough.
I wanna smother you. . .
. . .
. . . In fire and brimstone!!!
Friday, 15 August 2008
Sunday, 10 August 2008
A Whole New World
Ok, lets get upto date shall we?
I have suddenly become indulged in Pendulum, whether this is because Sam has invited me to come see them at the BIC in December or not, I'm not sure. But either way, I'm very much wrapped up in it atm. Especially Remember Me. Loving the foreign language, in songs any way. Also Dota by Basshunter is a favourite.
Next, last night, I went clubbing after work with Harry and Sam. Oh yes, the sexy trio were out roaming Bournemouth!
. . .
Good god I've never been so frightened in all my life!!
First . . . ok no thats a lie. SECOND time of being in a proper club. Although the first time, I had already been drinking and then ended up in a hot tub with my eyes shut while I danced to a bass line as it was all I could hear. Anyway yes, this time, I was frightened. I actually felt like crying, either through fascination, amazement, fear or HELP GET ME OUT OF HERE!! I'm not sure. Maybe all of them. I did eventually get used to it enough to dance. However, looking in the mirrors quickly put me off. Maybe I was wearing the wrong trousers but Good God I wanted to put WIDE LOAD sticker on MY OWN BACKSIDE!! That can't be good. So yes, that shot down my self confidence. Got very freaked out though when one guy held onto my waist (even though quite a lot of guys done that, they let go as they passed) this guy DIDNT let go!! It wasn't until I sharply turned that he let go!! I don't have a very good history with guys not letting go of me. Dungeon, Jumping Jacks, Angel, pubs and clubs of sorts. All ended badly. Except Dungeon, that didn't end too badly. The guy was married and did later apologise to me so that was ok. ^^
Difference between the clubs I'm used to going to and that one last night is that this one - well, lets face it. I stood out as a n00b the moment I walked in the door. Big dance floor, fancy lights, heavy bass line and my dancing usually consists of head banging, hmm couldn't really do it here. And Dungeon has a very small dance floor. Everyone is normally hanging out drinking with mates and chatting. Sound Circus has a bigger dance floor but still no where near as big as this one, plus they play alternative music and heavy metal!! So that also suits me to a T. But looking round this new one, it was . . . unusual. You could pick out the girls who regularly spent their Saturday nights dancing away and knew how to dress for such an occasion. You could also pick out those who were on a one night celebration event. And then there's people like me, who didn't know what to do, felt embarrassed to even be there and wished they had worn something else, a little more suiting to the place! I would like to give it a proper shot one day, maybe for my 21st? Do it properly, full on clubbing gear, UV everywhere, one night down sound circus, another night down Lavaignite, and then one night down Dungeon. Yes. Thats my week off planned!! Wednesday - Dungeon. Friday - Sound Circus. Saturday - Lava;ignite. BRING IT!! ^^
Ok, other news!!
I'm meeting Rob's dad tomorrow and his partner. >.< He was going to leave it as a surprise but luckily he had to tell me cos Jess wanted to make plans with us. So now I can prepare what I'm going to wear and make a proper impression and not make his dad think that he's just pulled some alternative prostitute ¬¬
OH ONE OTHER THING!!
Found an alternative shop in Bournemouth.
YES!!! OH YES!! AT FUCKING LAST!!! A SHOP WORTH GOING TO IN BOURNEMOUTH!! Other than Anne Summers of course. ^^
My dragons are growing immensly. Althought Dad is getting a little grumpy because he feels slightly left out because I do everything. He fed them today and I asked him to dust them with calcium dust next time he feeds them live food. He got all grumpy and said "fine I wont feed them next time" . . . no I didn't say you can't, I'm just asking if you could dust the food first before feeding it to em. I get the feeling I was talking to a child ???
AARR I AM LOVING THIS TUUUUUNE!!!
I am going through a random phase of saying random shizz. As you can see. However still an alternative at heart. Irrespective of my music phase at the moment. And my clothing is dragging a bit. It's resolving to baggy shirts and jeans due to my lack of confidence in my body. I seriously need to stop eating. And being on the implant doesn't help cos every small little snack puts something on me!! And I WILL stick to it!!! 2 meals a day MAX!! and NO SNACKING!!! Ok, here we go:
1. No more than 2 meals a day of medium portion.
2. No snacking.
3. No fizzy drinks
4. NO REDBULL! Or other energy drinks.
5. No alcohol (AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Yea thats going to be difficult. Though I could have it with juice!!)
6. Drink more water.
7. No fast food.
That will do me for now. On top of that there is a fitness regieme for me. Using dumbells and this twisty thing my mum has to help lose the weight off the mid drift which I could really use right now!
Here's another thing. *one more ting!!! - Uncle stylee!*
I can't sing.
Not for shit.
I may be able to sing in tune, but having the voice to do it is a totally different matter. And anyone who says I can is a liar!!
I'm not going to sing again at the next House band gig. Or pub karaoke - or EVER!!
*sighs* I feel like drawing. OH I KNOW WHAT I WAS GONNA DO!!! ^^
I was going to add to my scrap book of me and Rob, the emails we shared before we met properly for the first time. Such happy memories, my heart never raced so fast, nor hard. ^^
Hehehehehe!! Still makes me giggle even now. Wonder what he was thinking when he was writing his first email to me . . .
Anyway, I think thats enough for your daily dose of insanity.
I know it's enough for me!!
I have suddenly become indulged in Pendulum, whether this is because Sam has invited me to come see them at the BIC in December or not, I'm not sure. But either way, I'm very much wrapped up in it atm. Especially Remember Me. Loving the foreign language, in songs any way. Also Dota by Basshunter is a favourite.
Next, last night, I went clubbing after work with Harry and Sam. Oh yes, the sexy trio were out roaming Bournemouth!
. . .
Good god I've never been so frightened in all my life!!
First . . . ok no thats a lie. SECOND time of being in a proper club. Although the first time, I had already been drinking and then ended up in a hot tub with my eyes shut while I danced to a bass line as it was all I could hear. Anyway yes, this time, I was frightened. I actually felt like crying, either through fascination, amazement, fear or HELP GET ME OUT OF HERE!! I'm not sure. Maybe all of them. I did eventually get used to it enough to dance. However, looking in the mirrors quickly put me off. Maybe I was wearing the wrong trousers but Good God I wanted to put WIDE LOAD sticker on MY OWN BACKSIDE!! That can't be good. So yes, that shot down my self confidence. Got very freaked out though when one guy held onto my waist (even though quite a lot of guys done that, they let go as they passed) this guy DIDNT let go!! It wasn't until I sharply turned that he let go!! I don't have a very good history with guys not letting go of me. Dungeon, Jumping Jacks, Angel, pubs and clubs of sorts. All ended badly. Except Dungeon, that didn't end too badly. The guy was married and did later apologise to me so that was ok. ^^
Difference between the clubs I'm used to going to and that one last night is that this one - well, lets face it. I stood out as a n00b the moment I walked in the door. Big dance floor, fancy lights, heavy bass line and my dancing usually consists of head banging, hmm couldn't really do it here. And Dungeon has a very small dance floor. Everyone is normally hanging out drinking with mates and chatting. Sound Circus has a bigger dance floor but still no where near as big as this one, plus they play alternative music and heavy metal!! So that also suits me to a T. But looking round this new one, it was . . . unusual. You could pick out the girls who regularly spent their Saturday nights dancing away and knew how to dress for such an occasion. You could also pick out those who were on a one night celebration event. And then there's people like me, who didn't know what to do, felt embarrassed to even be there and wished they had worn something else, a little more suiting to the place! I would like to give it a proper shot one day, maybe for my 21st? Do it properly, full on clubbing gear, UV everywhere, one night down sound circus, another night down Lavaignite, and then one night down Dungeon. Yes. Thats my week off planned!! Wednesday - Dungeon. Friday - Sound Circus. Saturday - Lava;ignite. BRING IT!! ^^
Ok, other news!!
I'm meeting Rob's dad tomorrow and his partner. >.< He was going to leave it as a surprise but luckily he had to tell me cos Jess wanted to make plans with us. So now I can prepare what I'm going to wear and make a proper impression and not make his dad think that he's just pulled some alternative prostitute ¬¬
OH ONE OTHER THING!!
Found an alternative shop in Bournemouth.
YES!!! OH YES!! AT FUCKING LAST!!! A SHOP WORTH GOING TO IN BOURNEMOUTH!! Other than Anne Summers of course. ^^
My dragons are growing immensly. Althought Dad is getting a little grumpy because he feels slightly left out because I do everything. He fed them today and I asked him to dust them with calcium dust next time he feeds them live food. He got all grumpy and said "fine I wont feed them next time" . . . no I didn't say you can't, I'm just asking if you could dust the food first before feeding it to em. I get the feeling I was talking to a child ???
AARR I AM LOVING THIS TUUUUUNE!!!
I am going through a random phase of saying random shizz. As you can see. However still an alternative at heart. Irrespective of my music phase at the moment. And my clothing is dragging a bit. It's resolving to baggy shirts and jeans due to my lack of confidence in my body. I seriously need to stop eating. And being on the implant doesn't help cos every small little snack puts something on me!! And I WILL stick to it!!! 2 meals a day MAX!! and NO SNACKING!!! Ok, here we go:
1. No more than 2 meals a day of medium portion.
2. No snacking.
3. No fizzy drinks
4. NO REDBULL! Or other energy drinks.
5. No alcohol (AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Yea thats going to be difficult. Though I could have it with juice!!)
6. Drink more water.
7. No fast food.
That will do me for now. On top of that there is a fitness regieme for me. Using dumbells and this twisty thing my mum has to help lose the weight off the mid drift which I could really use right now!
Here's another thing. *one more ting!!! - Uncle stylee!*
I can't sing.
Not for shit.
I may be able to sing in tune, but having the voice to do it is a totally different matter. And anyone who says I can is a liar!!
I'm not going to sing again at the next House band gig. Or pub karaoke - or EVER!!
*sighs* I feel like drawing. OH I KNOW WHAT I WAS GONNA DO!!! ^^
I was going to add to my scrap book of me and Rob, the emails we shared before we met properly for the first time. Such happy memories, my heart never raced so fast, nor hard. ^^
Hehehehehe!! Still makes me giggle even now. Wonder what he was thinking when he was writing his first email to me . . .
Anyway, I think thats enough for your daily dose of insanity.
I know it's enough for me!!
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