State of Mind

I feel safe.

Yet I think I'm going crazy.

Is it a good sign if you know you're losing your mind, but you don't mind? Just let it carry on.

How does it feel to be "one". To be in complete harmony with yourself. To be in Nirvana.

I feel like this everytime he holds me in his arms.

I don't want to leave.
I don't want to let go.
I just forget everything.
I forget all my problems.
I forget what I'm thinking.
And I just dream . . .
I feel his warmth.
Hear his heart beating.
Hear his breathing.
I feel his soul.
And it is over powering.

Some people thought you could never feel like this until you die.
So would that make this heaven?
To feel completely free.
I want to do something! But I don't know what.
I want to say something! But it's all just a mumble of words.
I want to make him feel the same! But I am not that great.

I am not God.

I am just little me.

One day, I shall have a career to be proud of. One day I shall have my own family with a happy marriage that I always dreamed of as a child. I will love my children and my husband with everything I am, body, mind and soul. One day.

One day.

I wonder if it will ever happen . . . .