First off, congratulations to Carl and Aimee for their wedding on Saturday. Hope it all goes well!
Well, now onto my sorrowful lot.
Last night Jonny went to the dungeon, then dumped me when he got home. The reason? Because I told his best mate about something he'd done while drunk. Um, for the sake of the blog, say its nearly as embarrassin as wetting the bed. Now maybe understand how he feels and why he was angry about it. But I didn't tell anyone else!
I don't know how he'll be when he wakes up sober. Whether he'll remember or not. He probably will. But maybe he wont be so angry this time. We were supposed to decide on Saturday whether we were gonna stay and work it out or not. Guess he's already decided. But we're supposed to be going to a gig next week. Dunno if we're still friends or not. Anyway, at first I cried, felt sick, then eventually fell asleep and after half hour sleep before my alarm went off, I feel fine. Like I'm not bothered by it anymore. So long as we're friends I guess it never will bother me. The tarot cards told me this would happen. Twice they told me and the second time it was the next thing to happen! So I guess soon as it told me, I started preparing myself for it. I just wasn't prepared for the reason why!
Later that day....
He does still mean what he said. So thats it. It's officially over. I've only cried once so far. Nearly cried at work but managed to keep my head high. It doesn't seem to bother me that much. I can now be myself without having to worry what he's going to think and whether he's going to dump me for it. We're still friends and we're still going to the gig next week and cinema. I feel better with him as a friend than a boyfriend. I have no commitment to him therefore have no strings attached to what ever I now do. I can cut my hair again, re-dye it and get my other tattoo! I am not regretting the first one, I'm still glad I got it done even if he didn't like it. Now I can go down the dungeon, get pissed off my face and not give a shit whether I'm embarrassing him or not. If he doesn't like it, he can fuck off. I guess he was starving me of my freedom which is what I want most. And I'm no longer jealous of him. I have nothing to be jealous of. He still has no job, where as I now have everything I need. Freedom and my independence.
As my Godfather said, a pretty lass like you will have no problems finding a REAL man! just enjoy life, have fun and he will come to you!
And you know what? Thats exactly what I'm going to do!
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