Worry Worry Worry

There's always going to be something, somewhere or someone, designed in life to disrupt everything in your routine.

Ok, I done a tarot reading few nights ago. My future apparently holds misery and desolation. The last card said end of a relationship, seperation, heartbreak and tears.

The last time that card came up, it ended 2 weeks after. Twice that happened!! So naturally, saw that card and panicked! Thing is, I'd been worrying for the whole of that day so I'm hoping it just picked up on my fears.

Then last night at work, an alternative styled guy and his parents and family turned up at the plough for a birthday night. I caught his attention. No idea how nor why!! All night he didn't take his eyes off me and even sung songs to try to impress me as he's the singer in a band. He wasn't too bad but wasn't great either. I really wanted to get up there and sing just to show him how it's done but Tom didn't call me up. He was talking to one of the regulars about me and he gave me so many blessings. Said how amazing I am. So this guy became even more infactuated with me. He stayed til the end of the night when it was just him and Gee sat at the bar while I was cleaning and closing up. He got my number off someone. And then finally left when Tom kicked him out.

I haven't heard from Troy (the guy) yet. Tis a good thing! Hopefully he was too drunk to remember! I won't say no to more friends but no one gets any more than that. I'm sticking with Rob. Oh and onto what I was worrying about with Rob...

I don't want to put my faith in someone who doesn't want the same as me in life.
To be married and have a family.
I did ask him earlier on in the relationship and he said he didn't know but then he'd never met anyone like me! So he's still open to it. But I just fear that the more I stay with him, the deeper I fall for him and if it turns out he doesn't want the same then it's only going to hurt me more. I don't want to make the same mistake as my dad. Got married then find out they dont want children. It would be so hard for me. Especially now as I'm hoping to settle down. I just need to know if its what he wants or not. If he doesn't want it, then I've got no choice but to leave. I really don't want to leave though. Everyone likes him, and if I leave him, whoever I go with next will be compared to him. But thats not the dilemma right now.

Anyway, I'm on another split shift today. Fuck sake. God its going to kill me but I will be so loaded! Hopefully. Aha!! Anyway I need to go get ready.