In my shell of a body
I am alive
Through the empty eyes
You can see my soul
In my own mind
I need rescuing
I am just a little girl
Entwined in a thorn bush
That is my pain
That is my hate
And every move I make
Just becomes hurt
As the pricks pierce my skin
So I'll stand still
Thorns entangled in my hair
Fear binds me here
I am too afraid to cry
Do you hear me breathe?
Your voice brings comfort
Your touch heals me
This thorn bush dies
I can finally break a smile
I try to walk
I try to talk
But my legs give way
My voice just croaks
Cover me in your cloak
Wrap me in your arms
Feel my heart beat hard
I could stare into your eyes
Your beautiful blue eyes
And feel everything lift from my chest
Suddenly then collapse
For I can finally rest
Free from the pain
The worry and the hate
All that kept me awake
Drove me into that critical state
You are the air I breathe
The blue sky I see
The peace I feel
What burns in you now burns in me
A fire of passion
An inferno of love
You are what life is about
And you are mine
Just as I am yours
And on my dying day
I will have a smile
That same smile
That one and only smile
That I made
The day you came to me
As my soul sores above
I'll never forget that day
How I felt when I fell in love
With the fire in your eyes
And even as you cry
Your face still makes me smile
You will always be mine
And when you join me in heaven
We can hold hands again
I'll be lost in your eyes
You'll be lost in my smile
And with that we'll fade away
Together for another day
Until the end of time
We will always have that fire inside
We'll be the fire of the stars
The glisten in their hearts
And for all eternity
We are one
Monday, 23 June 2008
Friday, 20 June 2008
Not All Are Welcome
Well yesterday Rob left for Zanti. Got a text from him this morning. The present I got for him should arrive either today or tomorrow. Work is going steadily along.
Oh and while I'm on the subject of work. . .
Yesterday, someone called asking when the engagement party is. Before that a witheld number called my phone but it was on silent so I didnt get it. Now I'm thinking it was Rachel. She wouldn't give a name to Tom who took the call and therefore Tom wouldn't tell her anything. Because of this we are now having the party as private and people have to provide an invite for them to get in (the party not the pub). Now Rachel, you are NOT invited because I don't want you there. You will only make things awkward and disrupt the whole thing. If Jess invites you to the wedding then thats fine, I don't care because I'm going to be maid of honour and wont have to be anywhere near your ass! But this party is for close friends and family and you don't fit into either category. SO STOP TRYING TO INVITE YOURSELF!!
Fucking stupid cow.
Speaking of stupid cows, this girl who has no life and keeps pranking me is from Southampton! So now I can narrow it down to only a few people. Just because she's witheld doesn't mean the police can't trace where the signal is coming from.
Oh and while I'm on the subject of work. . .
Yesterday, someone called asking when the engagement party is. Before that a witheld number called my phone but it was on silent so I didnt get it. Now I'm thinking it was Rachel. She wouldn't give a name to Tom who took the call and therefore Tom wouldn't tell her anything. Because of this we are now having the party as private and people have to provide an invite for them to get in (the party not the pub). Now Rachel, you are NOT invited because I don't want you there. You will only make things awkward and disrupt the whole thing. If Jess invites you to the wedding then thats fine, I don't care because I'm going to be maid of honour and wont have to be anywhere near your ass! But this party is for close friends and family and you don't fit into either category. SO STOP TRYING TO INVITE YOURSELF!!
Fucking stupid cow.
Speaking of stupid cows, this girl who has no life and keeps pranking me is from Southampton! So now I can narrow it down to only a few people. Just because she's witheld doesn't mean the police can't trace where the signal is coming from.
Thursday, 12 June 2008
So Romantic Yet So Sad
Ok I am officially one hell of a sad suck up for stupid little romantic gestures.
I've bought me and Rob matching shirts. . .
I don't need to say anymore than that really! Doesn't matter whats on it, they match! Good lord thats bad enough!!
Anywho, life is ticking on happily. My dad is currently in hospital after having a knee operation, he'll be back on Sunday. I spent last night round Robs, got drunk, had an amazing night *wink wink*, woke up at 8 and got to work half hour early!! Yet it still didn't dawn on me to stop home and get my damned trainers!! Mainly cos I spent that half hour saying goodbye to Rob. It seems that each time I see him, he is even more irresistable to me!! And I do believe the same is happening to him too!
OMG!! Just seen the news! My philippine uncle used to work on the Saga Rose!! Thank god that he left when he did else he could've been dead by now!
ANYWAY!! Onto more important things in life.
JESS AND JAMIE!!! Congrats on your engagement! It would be my pleasure to be your Maid of Honour. A note to RACHEL GRAY if she's reading this (cos I know too well she will be), YES there is going to be an engagement party. YES I am organising it. NO your NOT invited!! I don't care if your still talking to Jess, you have yet to build a bridge with me and I am not going to let you waltz in like your automatically invited cos your NOT!! And I swear if you do come uninvited (inviting yourself like you've just tried does NOT count) I will personally escort you off the premises before I knock you clean out!! I still keep my promise on that. Thats just how badly you pissed me off!! I don't mind being told what to do IF they're in a position to do so. Like my boss. But you, YOU!! You were telling me how to THINK!! YOU were telling me how to FEEL!! I don't take kindly to people trying to rule my life!! My parents know that all too well! Bless their souls for trying but they have a right to. YOU DONT!! So kiss my tanned ass.
Anyway, onto a happier note, Rob *sighs*. Now that my best mate is engaged, I feel like I am soon to follow. I am thinking that on the 27th of December. He may, MAY, pop the question. I am unsure and I seem to have made myself think he will on that exact date just because I thought about it so much. Sado. Oh and last night I had a dream that I was pregnant with twins. . . now most people would be scared of that. Me however, I felt amazing. I felt so incredible feeling that I was carrying twins. I felt . . . like a mother. (note - sudden Dae Ja Vu!!). I saw quite a few babies over the past week and it just makes me wish that I was either still working from time to time with babies or that I had my own baby.
Just as I am ready for you Claudia, its too late.
Well, if I have kids with Rob, they're going to be really cute! No matter who they take after!!
I've bought me and Rob matching shirts. . .
I don't need to say anymore than that really! Doesn't matter whats on it, they match! Good lord thats bad enough!!
Anywho, life is ticking on happily. My dad is currently in hospital after having a knee operation, he'll be back on Sunday. I spent last night round Robs, got drunk, had an amazing night *wink wink*, woke up at 8 and got to work half hour early!! Yet it still didn't dawn on me to stop home and get my damned trainers!! Mainly cos I spent that half hour saying goodbye to Rob. It seems that each time I see him, he is even more irresistable to me!! And I do believe the same is happening to him too!
OMG!! Just seen the news! My philippine uncle used to work on the Saga Rose!! Thank god that he left when he did else he could've been dead by now!
ANYWAY!! Onto more important things in life.
JESS AND JAMIE!!! Congrats on your engagement! It would be my pleasure to be your Maid of Honour. A note to RACHEL GRAY if she's reading this (cos I know too well she will be), YES there is going to be an engagement party. YES I am organising it. NO your NOT invited!! I don't care if your still talking to Jess, you have yet to build a bridge with me and I am not going to let you waltz in like your automatically invited cos your NOT!! And I swear if you do come uninvited (inviting yourself like you've just tried does NOT count) I will personally escort you off the premises before I knock you clean out!! I still keep my promise on that. Thats just how badly you pissed me off!! I don't mind being told what to do IF they're in a position to do so. Like my boss. But you, YOU!! You were telling me how to THINK!! YOU were telling me how to FEEL!! I don't take kindly to people trying to rule my life!! My parents know that all too well! Bless their souls for trying but they have a right to. YOU DONT!! So kiss my tanned ass.
Anyway, onto a happier note, Rob *sighs*. Now that my best mate is engaged, I feel like I am soon to follow. I am thinking that on the 27th of December. He may, MAY, pop the question. I am unsure and I seem to have made myself think he will on that exact date just because I thought about it so much. Sado. Oh and last night I had a dream that I was pregnant with twins. . . now most people would be scared of that. Me however, I felt amazing. I felt so incredible feeling that I was carrying twins. I felt . . . like a mother. (note - sudden Dae Ja Vu!!). I saw quite a few babies over the past week and it just makes me wish that I was either still working from time to time with babies or that I had my own baby.
Just as I am ready for you Claudia, its too late.
Well, if I have kids with Rob, they're going to be really cute! No matter who they take after!!
Monday, 9 June 2008
I LOVE ROB!!!
I couldn't resist. I just had to write another blog. I had such an amazing time round his and at the gig!! I am so happy!!!
It's surprising how 20 years after recording hyperkarmer (or however long it was), Rob still sounds the same!! And I really want to hear his voice again!!
Well ok lets elaborate.
I love him.
I hate being away from him.
I really really REALLY want to be with him for the rest of my life.
I pray that he is the one for me.
I want to hear his words again no matter how little they are, they mean alot to me.
THANK YOU EMMA FOR BRINGING HIM TO MY ATTENTION!! ^^
My life - is complete!! I have everything I need.
I want to marry him. I want to have his babies. I want to be with him forever.
HAHAHAHAHAHAA!! Stalker!! Obsessed teenager!! Oh god.
Yes I want to be with him when all my dreams come true. And I'm thinking he does too. But to just enjoy it now and take our time.
Right now I could easily run in the street and shout his name out to the world!!
BIG IT UP MAN!!
¬¬ I don't know dont freakin ask.
I'm well and truly hyped up in my head and garunteed when I get to work it's gonna show. And I'm working with Dave. What shit. Oh well, I'll spruce it up!!
It's surprising how 20 years after recording hyperkarmer (or however long it was), Rob still sounds the same!! And I really want to hear his voice again!!
Well ok lets elaborate.
I love him.
I hate being away from him.
I really really REALLY want to be with him for the rest of my life.
I pray that he is the one for me.
I want to hear his words again no matter how little they are, they mean alot to me.
THANK YOU EMMA FOR BRINGING HIM TO MY ATTENTION!! ^^
My life - is complete!! I have everything I need.
I want to marry him. I want to have his babies. I want to be with him forever.
HAHAHAHAHAHAA!! Stalker!! Obsessed teenager!! Oh god.
Yes I want to be with him when all my dreams come true. And I'm thinking he does too. But to just enjoy it now and take our time.
Right now I could easily run in the street and shout his name out to the world!!
BIG IT UP MAN!!
¬¬ I don't know dont freakin ask.
I'm well and truly hyped up in my head and garunteed when I get to work it's gonna show. And I'm working with Dave. What shit. Oh well, I'll spruce it up!!
She Said, She Said
SHE'S TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH HYPERKARMA!!
Ah you bitches.
Welcome to your daily dose of insanity.
Well I've just got back from Robs.
*goes all girlie*
And thats enough of that!
I really really REALLY want to make a band up and finally make our own music!! The books I have laying around full of lyrics, poetry and songs just going to waste sitting in the dark gathering dust!! In fact, I do believe I shall pull one of them out right now!
...
Well I'm looking through my old song book and OMG!! The songs are still in my head. Obviously I can think of better melodies for them and some better lyrics but wow, so many memories!!
This one is for Jess cos I know she used to love this song when I sang it to her. You can now sing along with me Jess!
Hard Core
There's nothing that this girl will tolerate
Make one wrong move and it's a big mistake
She's a hard core-bad ass chick but don't get me wrong
'Cos she's a great girl if you don't mean her any harm
I've heard your lies and I've heard the truth
Don't try it on her cos she'll hit the roof
She can blow her fuse quick as one-two-three
And you'll be dead which for her can be quite easy
I don't mean to sound so rude
But she's keeping her eye on you (on you)
I don't mean to sound so rebellious
But someone told me what I should do about you
Somebody told me how to get out of here
I'm gnna take my life and stop it right here
Somebody told me how to get you back
I'm gonna tell your bitch that you called her a slag
Somebody told me how to change your mind
But then they said your foolish heart was blind
Somebody told me how to make you see
But for that t happen you gotta get back with me
She married once but it came to a quick end
How I know this is because I'm her bestest friend
She told me about you, said she wasn't sure
You told her you had an ex who was a real big whore
I told her that the whore you said about was me
So now you'd better watch your distance
'Cos she's now your enemy
I said I'd pay you back so now my work is done
I think I'll do it again next time cos it seemed fun
I didn't mean to make you cry
But you did dump me and said goodbye
I didn't mean to ruin your life
But if you come to me I'll put you right
Somebody told me
They should tell you
What they told me
That the girl your going out with
Is a true hard core.
LOL!!!
Omg how random is that!! I'm just reading through the rest of these songs and good lord! There aren't many happy ones!! hahahaha!! I really wish I had my keyboard just so I could play all these songs and realise just how corny they all are and how they sound all quite similar! Maybe if I got a band together I could change it, rearrange it, make it better!!
All I want for christmas - IS A KEYBOARD!! Or a band that will work with me ^^
Ah you bitches.
Welcome to your daily dose of insanity.
Well I've just got back from Robs.
*goes all girlie*
And thats enough of that!
I really really REALLY want to make a band up and finally make our own music!! The books I have laying around full of lyrics, poetry and songs just going to waste sitting in the dark gathering dust!! In fact, I do believe I shall pull one of them out right now!
...
Well I'm looking through my old song book and OMG!! The songs are still in my head. Obviously I can think of better melodies for them and some better lyrics but wow, so many memories!!
This one is for Jess cos I know she used to love this song when I sang it to her. You can now sing along with me Jess!
Hard Core
There's nothing that this girl will tolerate
Make one wrong move and it's a big mistake
She's a hard core-bad ass chick but don't get me wrong
'Cos she's a great girl if you don't mean her any harm
I've heard your lies and I've heard the truth
Don't try it on her cos she'll hit the roof
She can blow her fuse quick as one-two-three
And you'll be dead which for her can be quite easy
I don't mean to sound so rude
But she's keeping her eye on you (on you)
I don't mean to sound so rebellious
But someone told me what I should do about you
Somebody told me how to get out of here
I'm gnna take my life and stop it right here
Somebody told me how to get you back
I'm gonna tell your bitch that you called her a slag
Somebody told me how to change your mind
But then they said your foolish heart was blind
Somebody told me how to make you see
But for that t happen you gotta get back with me
She married once but it came to a quick end
How I know this is because I'm her bestest friend
She told me about you, said she wasn't sure
You told her you had an ex who was a real big whore
I told her that the whore you said about was me
So now you'd better watch your distance
'Cos she's now your enemy
I said I'd pay you back so now my work is done
I think I'll do it again next time cos it seemed fun
I didn't mean to make you cry
But you did dump me and said goodbye
I didn't mean to ruin your life
But if you come to me I'll put you right
Somebody told me
They should tell you
What they told me
That the girl your going out with
Is a true hard core.
LOL!!!
Omg how random is that!! I'm just reading through the rest of these songs and good lord! There aren't many happy ones!! hahahaha!! I really wish I had my keyboard just so I could play all these songs and realise just how corny they all are and how they sound all quite similar! Maybe if I got a band together I could change it, rearrange it, make it better!!
All I want for christmas - IS A KEYBOARD!! Or a band that will work with me ^^
Friday, 6 June 2008
Obsessed I Swear!!!
OBSESSED WITH SWEENEY TODD!!Ok I bought a new phone today. What did I do? I put a load of music on it, as you do, and some photos for a background, screen saver and all the rest of it. What have I done? My ring tones are songs from Sweeney Todd and my background changes between either of those two images!!
I have passed the point of just "love for a film" ... it's now a part of deamonic curse and worshipping of the film! I don't know. My dad told me of the legend when I was younger and ever since then I became fascinated in all the old time serial killers such as Elizabeth Bathory (emphasized through Cradle Of Filth), Jack The Ripper (scared half the school with that!) and Sweeney Todd! Or maybe it's just unlocked something inside of me and given me something to actually visualise with the legend.
Hmm...
Anyway!! Love my new phone!! Don't care if its a shite colour, it rawks!! Or maybe its cos it'll play Sweeney todd to me, I'm not sure. Love it anyway!!
*sighs* so much happening. Hello to Jess and Jamie!! Cos I know you guys read this every now and then. Or when ever I tell you to. ^^ Jamie hope ya mouth aint swollen so much. That'll teach you to swallow things your not supposed to! =D LOVE YOU REALLY!!!
I miss my drummer boy. Like, INSANELY MISS HIM!!! I HATE being away from him. Really do. Seeing him play on Sunday and Jason is coming too. Woop!! Anyway, I must go and get ready for work!! Friday night, hopefully should be some what busy. Although normally people come in early, get drunk early and go home early. Thats how it's been so far every friday night. Except the friday I had off! Hahahaha! Anyway yes must go!! ^^
Salutations to all you nosy buggars who are reading my life! =D
I LOVE YOU!!
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